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[25 Mar 2004|01:37am] |
I haven't been reaing livejournals lately. I'm taking a sabbatical from it. Too much drama... I'm deleteing this journal, actually, probably some time next week, once I have all the info I've been saving here.
I made a new one. I don't think I'm reading to tell you the name yet, but if you find it you can read what's there. It's not hard to find, hell I'm in some of the same communities (which I will still participate in from time to time, out of bordom).
Life, Love, and the pursuit of being whatever you want to be are!
DL
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[09 Mar 2004|01:26am] |
I just looked through my recent lj posts. I find it amusing that the entry that got the most comments was a quizilla quiz. Guess that's what you people really wat to see. *shrugs*
Lain
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| To Lydia. |
[09 Mar 2004|01:10am] |
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mood |
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 I'll get you my pretty... |
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music |
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Nothing, don't want to wake up Ryan. |
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LYDIA!!!
I wrote it twice (the second time in all caps) so you wouldn't miss it. This is primarily to you, though in the end it's just me talking about my cousin. Nothing here is too personal, anyone can read it.
I'm hoping that you might be able to come over tomorrow today. Tuesday. If you read this in the morning, or at school, or right after school and have nothing to do then you have no excuse.
My cousin's in town pretty much only today. I really really REALLY want you to meet him. He's so cool. I'm sure there will be other opportunities, but it would really mean a lot to me.
If you could get a ride here we could take you home. I'll probably have Carli and maybe Jon, or other people that slip my mind right now. I really want him to meet my friends. Hence, you, being probably my best friend, should meet him.
He's awesome. He just came back from visiting his boyfriend in Boston. His lover's a surgen ^_^. *laughs* He was an hour late getting here... I wonder why, maybe he *clears throat* left late. He sure was glowing when he came in. My dad keeps making incest jokes about us. It's great.
So yeah, I hope you get this. I'll give you a call this afternoon, too.
Luv luv luv
Lain
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| Taken from Al's journal. For all you out there. You know who you are... |
[08 Mar 2004|03:09am] |
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mood |
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 amused |
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music |
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David Usher - Unholy, Dirty, and Beautiful |
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Homework! Oh, homework!
I hate you! You stink!
I wish I could wash you
away in the sink,
if only a bomb
would explode you to bits.
Homework! Oh, homework!
You're giving me fits.
I'd rather take baths
with a man-eating shark,
or wrestle a lion
alone in the dark,
eat spinach and liver,
pet ten porcupines,
then tackle the homework
my teacher assigns.
Homework! Oh, homework!
You're last on my list,
I simply can't see
why you even exist,
if you just disappeares
it would tickle me pink.
Homework! Oh, homework!
I hate you! You stink!
-Jack Prelutsky
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| Call me Darwin. |
[08 Mar 2004|02:53am] |
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mood |
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 My tummy hurts :( |
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music |
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Depeche Mode - Strange Love |
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So, I know I promised a super long entry about two weekends ago. I'm not going to deliver. It's too frickin' long. If any one wants to read anything specific just ask, and I'll tell you. There is life outside of livejournal.
In short, fun at Alex's, fun at Lydia's (with a bit of crying in there too, and two showers, and a bit too much... something else), late for work (because Lydia's mom showed up two hours late to pick us up), fun at Naren's, ABSOLUTLY FUCKING CRAPPY AT WORK, not to great at home, but I'll live.
Meh'hr! I feel like I'm gonna throw up because of this stupid medicine. Why couldn't they just give me the old stuff I was on. That made me a little tired, but I've almost thrown up just about every day since I started ths crap. If this keeps going once I need the perscription changed I'm changing my perscription. I can't handle this much longer... I think it's a higher dosage. >.<
I hate medicine. I hate doctors. I hate nurses. I hate hospitols and doctors offices. I like ONE doctor, and I almost had to go to a different one, so I was so stressed out because I can't even talk about this with people I love and trust, I couldn't handle not talking to someone I at least know...
I really don't want to throw up tonight. I don't want to go to work tomorrow...
I just want to hang out with my cousin Ryan who came up from Florida to see his boyfriend in Boston, then is coming here for a few days before going back. He'll be here tomorrow. He is the only one of my florida relatives that I like. He's fucking awesome!... My tummy still hurts. I think I'm off to bed, hoping this stops hurting so frickin' much real soon.
Night folks.
...Me.
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| Found this amusing |
[03 Mar 2004|08:53pm] |
I got a zero in personality, but there's nothing really wrong with me, and I'm unique and I rock... I'm so confused!
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[01 Mar 2004|12:59am] |
I had a reall good weekend, then a crappy day at work. I just wrote about it all for almost 2 hours. I'm still not done, but I'm really tired. I'll post it in one big piece tomorrow.
Love and stuff
Lain
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[25 Feb 2004|01:56pm] |
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mood |
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 Philosophical |
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I see - I forget
I hear - I remember
I do - I understand
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[25 Feb 2004|02:01am] |
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mood |
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amused |
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music |
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Divinity Destroyed - Nothing but a Shadow |
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( I'm such a slut ^_^ )
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[21 Feb 2004|11:28pm] |
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mood |
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content |
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music |
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The Cure - Cut Here |
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Red Hot Chili Peppers - Show Me Your Soul
In a world that can be so insane
I don't think it’s very strange
For me to be in love with you
I want to know more than your brain
Into my life you were injected
Not something that I expected
Now I smile from your affection
We have made a soul connection
Just for whom does your bell toll
Don't be cold show me your soul
Sentimental gentlemen are not afraid
To show you in
I am you
You're my best friend
Show me your soul
In a world that can be so insane
I don't think it’s very strange
For me to be in love with you
I want to know more than your brain
Yes I find you so appealing
When you show me how you're feeling
You my friend need not be kneeling
Open up and stop revealing
Trust in me, my heart is whole
I need to see
Show me your soul
Sentimental gentlemen are not afraid
To show you in
I am you
You're my best friend
Show me your soul
In a world that can be so insane
I don't think it's very strange
For me to be in love with you
I want to know more than your brain
Don't expect too much from me
Perfection is no test for me
Because the best I'll ever be
I'm just like you, a human being
You won't offend, I need to know
Please my friend
Show me your soul.
Sentimental gentlemen are not afraid
To show you in
I am you
You're my best friend
Show me your soul
Thought of and listened to that song for the first time since...
Lain
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| She dreams him as a boy, and he loves her as a girl... loves her as a girl. |
[20 Feb 2004|11:47pm] |
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 confused |
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music |
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The Cure - The Loudest Sound |
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mrow...
Lain plus no sleep in a few days plus yay, we love carli plus mmm coffee plus now i'm home i should catch up on ljs plus LOOK! web comics equals no sleep for Lain.
Read it out loud to yourself, it makes more sense that way.
Placebo - Sleeping With Ghosts
The sea's evaporated
Though it comes as no surprise
These clouds we're seeing
Their explosions in the sky
It seems it's written
But we can't read between the line
Hush
It's okay
Dry your eye
Dry your eye
Soulmate dry your eye
Dry your eye
Soulmate dry your eye
Cause soulmates never die
This one world vision
Turns us in to compromise
What good's religion
When it's each other we despise
Damn the government
Damn the killing
Damn the lies
Hush
It's okay
Dry your eyes
Dry your eyes
Soulmate dry your eyes
Dry your eyes
Soulmate dry your eyes
Cause soulmates never die
Soulmates never die
Never die
Soulmates never die
Never die...
Soulmates never die
Soulmates never die
Soulmates never die
Soulmates never die
You probably have to hear this song to fall in love with it the way I did, but I needed to post it for myself anyway.
The seducer of the night. You are the Faerie of
Darkness. You do things your own way. People
are toys to you, and you like to mold them to
do what you want. You have a lot of friends, or
a lot of people who consider you a friend(or a
lover). People are drawn to that wild smile of
yours, and your promise to allow them to enjoy
life. Ignoring the consequences... You live for
risks. Even if the risk is breaking someones
heart.
What's your inner Faerie?
brought to you by Quizilla
I've been feeling a little guilty lately. Then I feel guilty for feeling guilty. Then I feel stupid for feeling guilty at all, about either thing. Then I just feel bad about what I felt guilty about in the first place. Then I feel guilty about it, because thinking about it makes me so indescribably happy. Then I cry.
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| Come Play With Us |
[19 Feb 2004|02:18am] |
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mood |
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 creative |
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Every one who is interested, please join the new community, ![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/community.gif) bardic_circle , I made a rambling description of bardic circle just now (2:20 in the moning) that I will try to make better as soon as possible, but it gets the point across. All info on future bardic circles will be posted there, as well as probably in personal journals. I'd also love it to be used to talk about past bardic circles, and brain storm ideas for future ones. How to make things better. Get feed back. Place complaints, should any arise. Post poems, and stories, etc. you think should be shared, and improv games that we haven't been playing, and anything and everything bardic circle-ish.
Go! Join!
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[19 Feb 2004|01:31am] |
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good |
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Divinity Destroyed part 4 |
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I had a good day.
I had a good day.
I had a good day.
It hasn't quite sunk in yet. I'm real busy wishing everyone else was having a good day too. I haven't been able to enjoy my good day yet. I played pool, and bought a book about the cult of Cthulhu, to further drive people insane. I played pac man. I watched Lovecraftian movies, followed by disney, so I'd be able to sleep. Jacob's Ladder is freaky. Sarah called, and we talked for about an hour before she had to go. I LOVE YOU! Then I took a bath, then got online, talked to people... Including Sean! I haven't actually talked to him in months, I missed him so much. I need to see you, soon, Sean, my love.
That in and of itself is a pretty good day, add in to it that I saw Kaya at James' store, and spent most of the day with Lydia...
I had a good day.
Now, everyone else take an example. Go have a good day too...
I think I can handle having a good day now.
Luv luv luv
Lain
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| Wa...hoo. |
[17 Feb 2004|11:24pm] |
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mood |
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 crazy |
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music |
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the intimidating buzz of my franken-puter... |
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I've had a good couple of days. I had a shakey talk with Lydia on thursday. I was really dreading it, but all is well, and now I feel like we're closer than ever. The GSA dance was on friday, and that was awesome.
I ran a Call of Cthulhu game friday after the dance, and again sunday night. It's going really well. It takes longer than I though getting through parts of the adventure, but that's okay. The reason is because once these guys get into character, they really don't break out very often. They argue, and flirt, and go into stupid detail, and tell jokes and do everything in character. Where other roleplayers would just want to move on and "get back to the game" these people are completely immersed into it. They are the game. Thank you for being so real. And thank you Tennison and Carli for flipping out. It's really flattering. And thank you Chad for being the first to flip out and start shooting semi-inanimate objects (note: the first). You are all a blast to play with, even when I get pissed at you for making me yell when I'm loosing my voice.
Lots of cuddles and lovin' from Lydia and Carli after the games. You both mean so much to me... I'd love to write sixty pages here about what you mean to me, if I could only find the words.
Kaya... I miss you. I want to be close to you more often. I don't know if you've been distant, or I have, or we just haven't needed each other as much lately. In any case, call me. I want to see you more.
Sarah. CALL ME!!!!!!
Alex, Sean, Jesse, J, Dana, and all the rest of you crazy wonderful people who live out that way, Call me, or visit me, or tell me to visit, or something! I just miss you all! Have you vanished from the face of the earth?
Bren. Yay coffee! You're band is so incredibly Emo, I love it. Give me a demo tape. I need to get a fake ID so we can go chill in the Boston havens. And trust me, you aren't out of place there.
Everyone read this! ( An inspiring rant, by Michelle Belanger. ) Taken from her journal without permission. Sorry, love, just ask and I'll remove it, but I really wanted to share this. I love the way you write.
Yay long journal entries!
Luv luv luv
Lain
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[12 Feb 2004|07:47pm] |
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mood |
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 crappy |
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music |
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Coheed and Cambria - The Crowing |
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I can't do this anymore.
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| I hold up my hands, I stare... |
[11 Feb 2004|11:58pm] |
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mood |
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lonely |
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Divinity Destroyed part 4 |
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So... Something's wrong. Something feels bad, right at my center, like a huge gaping hole that had forgotten it was there for a long time, and now bunches of things are falling out of it so the rest of me noticed it's there again... Or something like that. In any case, I think it should hurt but it just feels empty, and every time I begin to figure it out, even a little, it hurts a lot, and I'm scared to get closer...
I don't think I'm going to be a happy bunny for a few days. I'd love to hear from people, and try to figure this out. I'd desperately love cuddles. I just don't think I'll be able to be and more cheerful than an empty apathetic blob. So If you're going to want to just chill, and have fun I suggest looking else where. Though, let me reiterate, I'd love to see people. I don't want to be alone, I just don't want to bring anyone down. So feel no obligation to see me, I'll be okay, but if you feel up for it...
There are few who'd deny, at what I do I am the best
For my talents are renowned far and wide
When it comes to surprises in the moonlit night
I excel without ever even trying
With the slightest little effort of my ghostlike charms
I have seen grown men give out a shriek
With the wave of my hand, and a well-placed moan
I have swept the very bravest off their feet
Yet year after year, it's the same routine
And I grow so weary of the sound of screams
And I, Jack, the Pumpkin King
Have grown so tired of the same old thing
Oh, somewhere deep inside of these bones
An emptiness began to grow
There's something out there, far from my home
A longing that I've never known
I'm a master of fright, and a demon of light
And I'll scare you right out of your pants
To a guy in Kentucky, I'm Mister Unlucky
And I'm known throughout England and France
And since I am dead, I can take off my head
To recite Shakespearean quotations
No animal nor man can scream like I can
With the fury of my recitations
But who here would ever understand
That the Pumpkin King with the skeleton grin
Would tire of his crown, if they only understood
He'd give it all up if he only could
Oh, there's an empty place in my bones
That calls out for something unknown
The fame and praise come year after year
Does nothing for these empty tears
Lain
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| Don't let the Lyrics fool you, I'm so happy right now, this song just feels right... |
[09 Feb 2004|04:08am] |
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mood |
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peaceful |
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music |
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Divinity Destroyed part 1 |
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The lyrics aren't quite what I'm feeling, but the insturmentals and just his voice are right on target. Nothing could fit better. I've been listening to this same song for... going on five hours. It's long, but if you can get through it, try. It's not even a song, it's art. It's poetry. It is truely Divine...
The parts in italics are things i'm not necessarily feeling or why I love this sone (that's what the bolds for). They're just parts, and lines I find extraordenarily beautiful.
Divinity Destroyed.
I hold up my hands
I stare
And they are clean, untainted by the world
All I can do is sit and think
Think of what I could have changed
"Why, oh why", I ask the sky
In return all I hear is thunder
Blinded by my light, my day
Guided by my faith through the garden
Bless me while I make my stand
Watching, waiting for the storm
Comfort cannot compensate
Nothing could replace your arms
One sigh away from going mad
Reason hanging by a thread
Scrawled on the wall in tears and blood, these will be my final words
No tears
No sorrow
I’ll wait for tomorrow
I gave everything I had
I gave everything I did not
All this time
All that time
This is not the way it was
Faceless figures in the dark gesture me to join their cause
I stand by what I believe even though I know the reality
Drain me of the dreams I’ve earned
Strip me of the pain
Make me one again
Find another way to breathe
I no longer give you consent
Lay the noose around my neck
Tie me to the stars above
Scrawled on the wall in tears and blood, these will be my final words
No tears
No sorrow
I’ll wait for tomorrow
Now
Here on this day
It begins
Pure innocence
Gone with doubt
Hold my flight up above
Cry your name to the wind
Wind my mind back to where I began
Try to accept my role in this game
I’ll wait here for my time
I lived a lie and it made me one
I felt complete
I felt whole
I take it back, as I
Fall to my knees and reach for the sky
Take my eyes and make me one with the night
Use my fears to make this slow
Take my life and tell me who I should be
Pray I cannot call this home
Shrine
Take me alive to your hive
Vacate your throne as I die
Rain for days
Melt away
Bring me down
Bring me home
Have you come to wash my sins away
This, I wonder
You’ve turned blackest night to crystal
Yet, I wonder
Granted, every day I am dying
Still, I wonder
Why have you relinquished your life
This, I wonder
Nothing seems the same now that you are gone
I’ll wait, I’ll wait
For my star to fall with your name engraved
I’ll wait, I’ll wait
Still, I know the truth and what lies within
Wake up, please wake up
This is killing me and all that I am
Wake up, please wake up
What else do I have? What else do I want?
I’ll wait, I’ll wait
I won’t see the world like I did before
I’ll wait, I’ll wait
Day by day, I live, while I wait to die
Wake up, please wake up
Nothing seems the same now that you are gone
Wake up, please wake up and make it stop
I hold up my hands
I stare
And they are broken beyond all repair
All I can do is sit and think
Wondering how much more I’ll sink
"Why, oh why", I ask the sky
Silence is its sole reply
Blinded by my light, my day
Light that once led my way
Bless me while I make my stand
Fighting for this cursed land
Comfort cannot compensate
I have not yet begun to hate
One sigh away from going mad
Now I am one short of what I once had
How could I, in all my time, destroy something so divine
Breathe in the sky
Bleed out the night
Breathe sky just to bleed night; I can’t breathe
I hold up my hands
I stare
And they are broken beyond all repair
The sun, the moon, the earth, and the rain
All you ever gave was pain
Without you, I am damned
Forsaken
Forgotten
I love that, so much.... The only thing I'd rather be listening to right now is a really, full out thunder storm. The kind that puts the power out, and the thunders so thick you can feel it in your stomach everytime it cracks... Though, at the beginning of Divinity Destroyed part three there is a thunderstorm... I love this music so much.
Lain
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